im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
