when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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