I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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