I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i already hear my dad disowning me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize