Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
"it" just moved
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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