My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
