You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
