She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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