would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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