Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
