I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Sorry about my life...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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