I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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