Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
