My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize