doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
