Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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