I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
