Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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