At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
