You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
