yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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