okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
