guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize