so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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