DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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