I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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