3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
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