at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
