walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
