Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
