I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Success! We fucked roommates!
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