It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
