Three words: puerto rican gang bang
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
