We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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