Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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