Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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