just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
