So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
