I just gift wrapped bread.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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