I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Randomize
