I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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