I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
