Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize