Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry mamapotts hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?

(516): View more from New York

one can only hope.

Fav 33 5785 1041
share tweet
(609): View more from New Jersey

WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.

Fav 32 7010 1151
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.

Fav 24 3900 1340
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."

Fav 17 6102 1077
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag

Fav 9 1535 4729
share tweet
(678): View more from Georgia

I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.

Fav 7 1201 739
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete

Fav 3 2106 698
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?

Fav 3 905 589
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(309): View more from Illinois

Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.

Fav 0 12 34
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT