i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize