Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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