Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize