Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
