marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize