Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I see more hoeing in ur future
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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