Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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