Your tits are I can't wait for
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
