He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
