this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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