Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
