I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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