You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
