I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
