I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize