nut hugger
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Randomize
